Rector’s Reflection: Feeding Jesus’ people, as his friend (John 21.17).

I write this first Rector's Reflection just before my installation service, but after the chaos of moving house. And at times, I’ll be honest, I have asked myself, “what on earth am I doing?!” It comes from a place of frustration at the upheaval and uncertainty, rather than a reluctance to respond to the call to serve you, the people of Buckrose Carrs Benefice. But I imagine at times we all may feel like that, “what on earth am I doing?!”, whether that be because you’ve had to enter a cold building to put the heating on for the congregation, or because you’re baking yet another cake, or listen to your neighbour tell you that the church is dead anyway, so why bother.

Just as Jesus asked Peter, so Jesus asks us all, very simply: are we his friend, do we love him. Like Peter, we may not always feel equal to what Jesus asks of us, we may be reluctant to say yes in a way that commits us to his service. Yet, Jesus still has a use for us and a plan for us, even in our doubts and hesitations. How reassuring that we don’t need it to be all sewn up but how great the bonus of being able to say emphatically that we do love Jesus and that love alone feeds his people. How wonderful a gift. So I have affirmed my love for Jesus. I am his friend, and I commit myself to feeding his people; people whom I am already beginning to love. And in return I ask that you remember I am human too, I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t have everything sewn up, but I hope in time you will love me too and feed me in return so that, together as friends of Jesus, we may feed one another, feed those around us, and discover that Christ himself has been feeding us all along.